Prov 22.6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”


Be encouraging. Be present and patient with your child. Encourage her to verbalize her needs and respond as appropriate. Provide the support and care required to let her know she’s safe. Remember, only the person with the need can determine how much reassurance is enough to meet that need.

Model God’s love. At the heart of healthy attachment is a deep awareness of God’s love and unconditional acceptance. Reflect and express this unconditional care in all your dealings with your child.

Be intentional. Starting in your child’s infancy, make a conscious effort to establish meaningful connections. At a young age this can mean reading stories and playing games. As children get older a lot of parents stop doing these things. Many teenagers may not want to be seen with their parents, but you can still do things as a family at home. Shared meals, game nights, movie nights, art nights are all important ways o connect with your children. Sometimes an adult may not be naturally interested in what your child is interested in. If you hear their music and say “Turn that racket down.” This can put a barrier between you and your child. Instead you should say, do you like this band.., tell me more about them…

Let enough be enough. Be content to do what you can. Don’t fall for the false thinking that you have to measure up. As we said, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. The good news is, we don’t have to be perfect parents—just good-enough ones. Do what you can and let that be good enough.

When you take an interest in your children you help form a connection.

Conclusion: Getting Off on the Right Foot

A healthy outlook on life grows out of healthy attachment. As a parent, your number-one concern is to establish your child’s life upon a firm foundation of solid relational connectedness. The best research indicates that connected kids do well in almost every area of life. The disconnected child is more likely to face serious challenges down the road.